Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
