Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
