You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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