Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
