I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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