Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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