I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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