They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
