Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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