He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
