listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
