seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
