I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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