I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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