Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
