I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think my mom watched the whole time
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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