Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
