How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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