Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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