Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize