bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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