It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
