This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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