All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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