The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
