I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
