the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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