it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
