White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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