Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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