420 ftw
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
