You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
