Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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