He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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