Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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