i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
