Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
