What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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