Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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