i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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