Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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