Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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