he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
