doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
