everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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