Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
