Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
