Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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