it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
