When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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