Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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