Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize