I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
