We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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