So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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