We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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