Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
