I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
