mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
