I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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