Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize