Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you have to choose: penises or morals?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
