bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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