Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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