Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
